What is a Living Tribute?

Long border at RHS Chatsworth.jpg

A “Living Tribute” is a funeral tribute or eulogy written whilst the person is still alive.

Why do this? Isn’t it rather morbid? The answer is personal to the individual who may want this service.

For many people, they like to tie up lose ends. When they get to a certain stage of life, many people like to make financial arrangements to pay for their funeral when it happens. Funeral Plans will often pay for doctors fees to register the death, funeral director fees and a various amounts for the coffin, flowers and sometimes the funeral celebrant. It gives many people peace of mind that their spouse or family will not have to worry about the cost of their funeral.

Many people however, do not always talk to their next-of-kin, family or friends about their funeral wishes. What type of funeral they want, what music and readings they would be honoured to have. Many care home staff will help residents write down their funeral wishes. When it comes to organising the funeral, research shows that family really value having funeral wishes which are clear. It makes it easier for them to carry out their loved one’s instructions rather than trying to second-guess what they might have wanted.

It is a morbid subject, which is why some people don’t like to talk to their family and friends about it. Rather, it is easier to talk to an objective professional instead.

When it comes to a funeral eulogy and tribute, what normally happens is the minister or celebrant has to have a long conversation with the next-of-kin, sometimes taking as long as an hour, to find out about the person who has died so they can then write the tribute/eulogy.

Whilst in many cases this is not a problem, for some next-of-kin, they really struggle. It might be that they are in deep shock and grief and find it difficult to recall and retell life details. For others, the next-of-kin might not actually be a very close relative. They may struggle to know details of certain parts of the deceased’s life, usually when they were young.

When stories and accounts are collated from a range of family members and friends, a wonderful collection of memories is collated. often with lots of moving words about how much this person meant to them. It is such a shame, that the deceased don’t get to read or hear the tribute.

And this is where a “Living Tribute” or “Living Eulogy” changes things. By co-creating your own tribute and eulogy before you die, you have control over how your life story is told. You get to read about all the tributes people want to say about your life and how you have contributed to their life and to the world.

A “Living Tribute” is not for everyone, but increasingly, British people are dispensing with tradition and with concepts of how things are “meant to be done”. Instead, we live in an age or personalisation and uniqueness. So why not when you die too!